I'm really emotional right now. I'm so up and down but i like it. I have energy, which I never have, enough energy to cry. Usually I am so exhausted all I can do is sleep. And when I cant sleep anymore, I just lay there, unblinking, unmoving, until i fall asleep again. I am uncharacteristically happy now. Last night I was not so happy. I watched the sky fade into twilight, wrote a poem in my head. The sky is always cloudless here, and the breezes never too strong. "The sky was a cheap color blue, and when it was dark, a deep purple-black. The tips of the trees soaked in its royal color, saturated. Makes me reconsider the color purple."
It is easy on my tired eyes. My brother Stefan's favorite color is yellow, which is too bright, too loud. It wears me out to even look at it. I like dark colors: green, dark reds and black. Colors that don't make demands, false promises. I'm not used to this energy,  I feel like screaming. I feel like a fist fight. I feel like 6 hr phone conversations, falling in love, like wild sex, exposing my secrets and lies, joining the army. my eyes flicker too fast, I can feel butterfly wings beating in my chest. The vibrancy is back, and it's been so long, I dont know what to do with my quick hands, long fingers punching the keys. My eyes are too bright, too many emotions flooding in, breaking the dam. Warm tears slide, dry, the salt stings my cheeks. I can't stop shaking. I want to dance with you, pretty girls. Spin you. I want to put on all my jewelry, pretend I am Cleopatra, search the world for scrolls for my library, the biggest in the world, and bathe in donkeys milk. My energy, I wait for it to pass.