SHIT

took vicodin, now i can;t even breathe. Like my respiratory system is depressed, turning an involuntary action, breathing, into one i actually have to think about. And I forget. And I twitch involuntarily as a reminder. It's bizarre.

My first time on vicodin. I've done oxycontin and percs, both had similar effects. But I just can't handle this right now. I tried to sleep, but I forget to breathe and my body jerks awake. I'm afraid I'm going to fall unconscios so I guess I'm stuck being awake for now. I have to work in the morning too. I have to leave at 8:30 am, omg it's gonna be BAD tomorrow. I need my sleep. I need to sleep like 8 hrs a night or i'm useless. I need the money tho, so I'm gonna have to push thru it. I'm exhausted right now too. I've been up since like 9am yesterday, and it's now almost 3am. I'm afraid the lack of oxygen to my brain is going to cause brain damage. I'm not doing this shit again. I'm off alcohol cuz I'm trying to lose weight and improve my depression.

Ditched Lauren, she blew me off, I got pissed, we're through. It's just the last straw with her.

So now I hang out at home, I dont really have friends, which is fine for a misanthrope like me.